i need to get in a car and just start driving in some random direction--okay, well, not west, because i'd get a half-mile west and then end up at the bottom of the ocean--but some random direction that isn't west, and drive until i get somewhere that isn't finals week or boys or insanity--

i wanna work at Subway, so i can be a Sandwich Artist, 'cuz then at least my highfalutin concept of myself as an artist would be validated--

the last time i got my hair cut i told the haircutterlady twice what i wanted and she did something else. it was the first time i ever tipped a haircutterlady. it was the first time i'd ever paid for a haircut with a debit card, and the "Tip: $________" was too intimidating a collection of purple ink spots for me to ignore--

i wonder if the guinness book of world records contains the record of who has broken the most records in the guinness book of world records and i wonder how often that record gets broken--

did i ever mention that richard found War on Terrorism trading cards at rite-aid?--

ariel, on whether to go to the cirque du soleil or the moby/david bowie concert: "it's a hard choice. bowie will probably wear tights, but does he spin on ribbons? no. and moby's cool, but he use a trapeze?"--

the dollar store in the mall in bellingham carries "kamasutra" brand condoms--

sometimes i wake up hungry and needing to pee, and i can't make up my mind whether to eat first or pee first, so i stay in bed for another 20 minutes deciding--

for the record, i have never written anything on the mall parking lot with sidewalk chalk. heh. heh. heh.--

i've never read Lord of the Flies--

sometimes i feel like the dots on my i's are pretentious--

in sixth grade someone got on my case for using too many 'big words' after i responded to a teacher's description of an egyptian garment with the question, "like a toga"?--

sometimes sleep is flimsy--